


Where Do Babies Come From?

by Pastaaddict



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Gen, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, The Talk, Under the name Pastaaddict
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 20:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14528631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastaaddict/pseuds/Pastaaddict
Summary: Little America asks 'The Question'





	Where Do Babies Come From?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer : I do not own Hetalia.

 

**_**Where Do Babies Come From?** _ **

"Engwand, where do babies come from?"

 _'Oh God, please not this question!'_ was what England thought. America's bright blue eyes gazed back into England's green eyes expectantly. He was not going to get out of this but America was too young to know the facts of life so what to tell him?

"Ah well...hmm," he stammered. "Err...Well, it begins with the birds and the bees and the bees sting the birds and the birds look for a cabbage under a hedge which they peck and the cabbage turns into a baby. Then the stork finds the baby and delivers it to it's parents and that's where babies come from!"

America gave a huh? Face.

"But why do the bees sting the birdies, Engwand?" he asked. "Are the birdies nasty to the bees?" England thought fast.

"No, the birds like being stung," he replied. America made a face.

"I don't like being stung by bees!" he declared. "It hurts!"

"Well, it hurts _us_ ," England said. "But it's nice for the birds!"

"Then why do they peck cabbages?" England groaned, wishing America would forget the subject.

"Well, they're hungry!"

"So birdies eat babies!" America looked horrified. England felt he was digging a deep hole for himself. Why did he not just distract America with some of his delicious scones! (Insert your own sarcasm if you like!).

"No, the cabbages become babies after the birds leave," England replied, hoping that would be the end of it.

"Why's the cabbage under the hedge?" America asked. "I thought they grew in fields!" England was ready to bang his head on the wall.

"Well, when someone wants a baby, a cabbage rolls under the hedge and waits for the birds to come." But America was not finished.

"Why do the storks deliver the babies and how do they know where to take them?" England was ready to scream.

"The baby's guardian angel tells the stork to deliver the baby and where to take it," England hoped he was done with this bullsh*t story. "Any other questions?"

"Yeah!" America replied. "What's a stork?"

* * *

Canada was looking for America and found him sitting in a cabbage patch, watching the cabbages intently and Canada wondered just why he was doing that.

"America, what are you doing?" he asked. America continued to watch the cabbages.

"I'm waiting for one of the cabbages to roll under the hedge," America replied. "So the birdie that the bee stung can peck at it and turn it into a baby that the stork can come and take it to it's parents like the guardian angel told it to!" Canada went huh?

"That's where Engwand told me babies come from!" America announced. Canada thought about when he asked France where babies come from and he looked absolutely creeped out.

"That's not what France said!" And that's why Canada is so quiet, he is overlooked all the time.

A sex talk from France would traumatise anyone, just ask Italy!

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> What BS stories were you told?


End file.
